A State Of Denial

A state of denial is one of the hardest things to have to come over in the world of addiction. It is also one of the things that stick with us (in our minds) through out most of our clean time.

I know that for me, I lived in a world of denial for most of my life, and still today even after a few 24's hours behind me I can still live in the world of denial. I think that because of the abuse that we put into our bodies for so many years that this will continue for the rest of our lives. Although it may continue we learn in recovery how not to act upon our thoughts.

Denial is knowing that you have a problem and than refusing to accept that it is in fact a problem. For many of us, we know that we have a certain problem in a certain area of our lives, but we continue to self talk ourselves right out of the issue at hand. This goes on and on until we can in fact come to terms with the acceptance of what the problem is but more importantly what the solution to the problem is. We know all to well about the problems but the solutions are something that we need to learn.

We can be analyzed, treated, locked up, beaten, and anything else that would and could happen but we will not surrender until we have no other options available. Why does it have to be like that? Usually it is because none of us will really want or even try to get help until we have no other options left. It takes what it takes and most of us have to learn from our own mistakes rather than paying attention to what doesn't work for others. If we could keep our eyes and ears open and learn from others than it wouldn't have to be such a hard chore for us to come to grips with denial.

Some call it "Doing the same thing expecting different results." but I was taught that it is "Doing the something and expecting the results to be the same...and the results will never be the same again." No matter how you want to put it into words, it is a problem that we have to deal with the rest of our lives. *Normal* people don't understand us and why we do what we do...But the important part isn't that they understand us the important part is for us to be able to understand ourselves, and the actions that we do or don't do.

It all goes back to denial. But once we are able to lay aside all of the denial that keeps us trapped we are than able to come into recovery, and have a chance at a new way of life.