Asking For Help

Sometimes it is difficult to ask for help. We prefer to solve problems on our own. Most of the time we are able to do so, using the resources we already have: family, friends and community. We all have 'ups and downs.' We all have normal grief at the death of a loved one and normal concerns about our children.

However, occasionally, life piles on too many stresses at once. Circumstances may overwhelm our usual coping skills. A normally 'good kid' may start going bad. You or a loved one may lose a job. You may suffer a prolonged or difficult illness. Stress may weaken your body's defenses, disrupting your sleep, appetite or zest for life. You may not feel comfortable discussing the problem with friends or family.

It is hard to ask help from a stranger. Asking for help may make you feel vulnerable or ashamed. A good mental health therapist should help you feel at ease quickly and remind you that you have every right to pursue all avenues to feeling better. Needing help is not a moral weakness. In fact, all of us have a responsibility to seek help for our own sake and the sake of our loved ones. There are many barriers to seeking help, but the first usually resides in our own reluctance to ask for assistance.

Another barrier is the concern 'what will people think of me?' We worry: 'What if my boss finds out?' 'What will the neighbors think?' It is true that many people are uncomfortable around issues of mental upset or stress. For the most part, our culture expects us to be rugged individualists, solving our own problems and riding off into the sunset in a ruggedly individualistic way. That is a fine approach, if we have the resources to solve the problem.

Historically, there has been some stigma attached to seeking mental health help. But modern day life can be stunningly complex. We no longer expect to be our own accountants, doctors, lawyers or bankers. Whatever our chosen profession, some times we need to seek consultation from experts in other fields. No one thinks less of us for seeking consultation from an accountant or lawyer. Similarly, we should insist on the opportunity to seek consultation from a mental health professional. You and you alone are the judge of your own needs.